Lately, I’ve been thinking about the connection between anxiety at work and anxiety on stage. It’s the same heartbeat, really—the ache to be seen, to belong, to make something matter.
Yes, I started with talking about a literal stage, but let’s broaden it. “Taking the stage” can mean leading a meeting, navigating a tough conversation, pitching a big idea, or negotiating terms with a client. It’s any moment where we step forward, take a risk, and offer something of ourselves.
And in those moments, anxiety tends to tag along.
But what if that anxiety doesn’t mean you’re out of your depth but exactly where you’re supposed to be? What if it means you care? That you’re paying attention? That you’re the kind of leader who doesn’t fake confidence but shows up with courage instead?
As leaders, we don’t talk enough about how many brilliant, capable people stay seated—not because they’re not qualified but because they hit that invisible wall right before they’re called to lead. Dr. Martha Beck, known for coaching Oprah and others through their own reckonings, once said she always felt anxious until she got curious.
Instead of trying to banish anxiety, she made room for it. That opened the door to more creativity, joy, and purpose.
The coauthors of Performing Under Pressure, Hank Weisinger and J.P. Pawliw-Fry, back her up. They suggest reframing pressure as opportunity—not as a test of worth but as a moment of challenge. That shift, they say, can create an “inherent performance steroid”—a boost of positive energy born from reframing stress as significance.
Here’s the truth: Grounded leaders don’t perform from a place of bravado. They show up rooted in values and guided by what matters—not just by how they’ll appear.
Before your next spotlight moment, ask yourself: What values do I want to bring into this space? What do I share with others? That mindset turns a solo act into a shared experience. It’s not “me versus them”; it’s “we’re in this together.”
So, next time you feel the nerves kicking in, don’t try to smother them. Instead, meet them like a wise coach pulling up a chair: “Ah, there you are. What are you here to show me?”
Then say what’s true—even if your heart races and your voice shakes.P.S. If you really need an extra boost of calm before you go “on stage,” try what Navy Seals use: Box breathing can counteract the rapid, shallow breathing that often accompanies anxiety. This technique induces slower, deeper breaths, which tell your brain it’s time to relax. Take control of your breathing and help your nervous system shift from “fight or flight” mode to a relaxed state.
